The Validation Trap

Why You’re Already Exactly Who You Need To Be

There are days we wait and wait. What for? Validation. We’ve all been there—waiting for someone else to tell us we’ve done a good job, that we look great, or that our hard work is finally “counting.” But here is the raw truth you might need to hear: If you are chasing validation, you’re running a race with no end.

I’m here to tell you—yes ma’am, yes sir—that you are enough exactly as you are in this moment. Not ten pounds from now, not one promotion from now, but now. Let’s talk about how to stop seeking external “yeses” and start believing in our own…

Are You Caught In The Loop?

Sometimes the “validation trap” is so subtle we don’t even know we’re in it. Ask yourself if any of these feel a little too familiar:

The “Post and Wait” Anxiety: You share a photo or an update and find yourself checking your phone every two minutes to see who liked it.

The Permission Slip Mentality: You have a great idea for your health or your life, but you find yourself asking five different people for their opinion before you actually start.

The Goal-Post Shift: You hit a milestone (like losing 5lbs or finishing a project), but instead of celebrating, you immediately look for the next thing because you didn’t feel as “validated” as you expected.

The Apology Habit: You apologize for your space, your needs, or your progress because you’re worried it doesn’t meet someone else’s standards.

Breaking The Cycle

Validation is like a caffeine hit—it gives you a temporary high, but the crash is inevitable. To start believing you are enough now, you have to start practicing Internal Approval. Instead of asking “Do they like this?” try asking, “Does this make me feel proud/strong/healthy?” —

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Try the 3-Day Validation Fast

I want to challenge you to stop “checking out” and start “checking in.” For the next 72 hours, we are going on a validation fast. Here’s how it works:

• Day 1: The “Post and Walk” Challenge. Post whatever you want (a workout, a meal, a selfie), but do not check the notifications for 4 hours. Prove to yourself that the value of the moment stayed the same, whether 0 people or 100 people saw it.
• Day 2: The “Silent Win.” Accomplish one thing today—big or small—and don’t tell anyone. No texts, no posts, no mentions. Keep that win just for you and feel how good it tastes when the only person who needs to be proud is you.
• Day 3: The “Mirror Yes.” Every time you look in the mirror today, instead of looking for what needs “fixing” to be acceptable to others, look yourself in the eye and say, “I am enough, exactly as I am.” —

Remember, breaking a habit takes time. You’ve been trained to look outside for answers, but the truth is already inside.

Are you taking the 3-day challenge? Comment “I’M IN” below so we can support each other!