How Strong and Focused Am I

First of all I want to say I am strong, but I was unaware until recently.

This all begin near a month ago.  I had my well woman’s exam and which also included a BMD (bone mass density) due to previous medication I took years ago.  Every test came back normal, well almost EXCEPT the mammogram. ABNORMAL in each breast.  I must say when you get that type of news  you’re not sure what to do.  For me I went numb and weak at all extremities.  I took a breath and knew I had to reschedule for further testing (scans and ultrasounds). 2.5 weeks later. It doesn’t seem long but my mind was going weary.

I didn’t tell anyone, WHY? Well I didn’t want the negative conversations, or the stories I just didn’t want to hear them.  I didn’t want pity talks.  I didn’t tell my family for several reasons.  Also the family reunion was approaching and 4th of July.  I didn’t want to be the downer for anyone’s holiday spirit nor the gossip or tea at the family reunion.  Now don’t get me wrong not all friends, associates or family members are negative

Did I cry, YES and I know there are so many approaches to treatment in abnormal mammogram.  I continued with my daily routine, work family life and continued to workout every day, giving each my 100 and sometimes more. I enjoyed the 4th of July and really enjoyed my family reunion.

Days later it was time.  I woke up worked out, showered and drove myself to my appointment.  I had a short wait and then it was time scans, 3D scans and ultra sound. In between I read a book “Girl Code”. NOW to make me nervous I had to repeat each test again and no one was saying anything and I was unable to read their expression.  On the third repeat I couldn’t take it I had to leave the waiting  area and cried but shockingly it was short.  I went back in and on the last ultrasound I just waited in the room for the doctor.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to hurry in and just telll me what was our next step or take as long as necessary.  But she came in.

I went cold, numb and weak.  Well it turns out I have cyst in each breast and benign. The purpose of the repeats was to be sure there was nothing hiding. I dressed and on my way out I cried. As I was walking to the car my daughter called and I told her where I was and why as well as the outcome.  She was angry but happy.  Once in the car out of nowhere I cried hard and I felt a weight lifted from me.

So the next day I continued with my workout and each day I have included a new goal.  I still shed a tear but know I am blessed because so many do not get the news I did.  It’s GREAT, LIFE IS GREAT.  I will continue my workouts staying focus.  Silly how I stayed focused through this, but I NOW know I am STRONG.  Also my fitness journey ha a companion- My Life journey which is changing all for the best.  It is surprising how so much greener the grass looks and the sky is bluer, rain feels great and again LIFE IS GREAT. Although I’m still reserving my thoughts on humidity .

Enjoy life and much as you do your fitness journey.  I once thought it was the same but its not.

Staying Committed

My fitness journey has hills, mountains, winding roads, slopes, gravel and smooth surface.  I encounter them all and my lesson which I have to focus on is “Stay Committed “.

Having a relationship with myself, just slain for knowing your mindset and your weakness; I know mine most of them when it comes to working out. I know if I come to a complete halt in my workouts  for greater than two days, I’m setting myself up for a failure or probably a hard restart.  With this said I encountered an almost halt on my workouts today.

My fitness journey is me following a workout and calendar and sometimes as I am now for the next several days combining two workouts.  Today I increased weights, jumped higher, lunged lower and just put on a “you got this show”. I was all in and when it came to my second workout my muscles were burning.  The energy was still there  but I didn’t want to push through to injury or super exhaustion, I’ve been there.  What did I do? Well there is a modifier in my workouts and I followed the modifier for half of my second workout then I was able to return to normal workout.

Modifying does not make it easier, you still have to push hard and give it your best or “100”.  It just mean a decrease in your lunge, or decrease in your jump maybe a bounce.  There are many who think modifying is for beginners or those  testing the waters of a workout. All FALSE.  Now I know because I’ve  heard I wouldn’t want to modify any workout, I’d rather wait until I can do it for the ultimate gain.

I will not bash, trash or argue the “wait”, but will you start. I will continue to reiterate. First make a decision that you really want to make a change (I’m talking about workouts but it can apply to any goals in life).  Ready for the change then COMMIT .  This is why I modified and why I push through.  I am committed to my fitness journey whether my results are slow or fast because without the commitment my results will be, oh yeah I will not have any results.

To weeks of commitment to yourself and to your goals as I am.

Sidelines

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I recently was conversing with a friend and she voiced concern of having negative feedback in her goal setting with several friends.  I listened to her and allowed her to shed tears, curse, and later begin to come to some decision.  She wants to begin a fitness routine and was told several reasons why she shouldn’t.

I am one to listen and as people talk they usually will begin to some what resolve their own situation.  I did give her one advice…. we have two sidelines in our goals.  There are those on negative sideline giving you thousands of unsolicited negative comments that weighs heavy.  This is like the opposing team not wanted you to score.  However there’s another field and  those on this sideline are cheering you on every second, every goal and cheering you to even go beyond your set goals because they believe in you, your supportive team. It’s up to you to decide which sideline you want to be on.

Sidelines and the people there are like a team, positive or negative and you, her as I have the choice to decide which sideline we want on OUR cheering squad.

To weeks of GREATNESS, I am standing on your POSITIVE sideline.

 

The Past, The Present & The Future ME

It’s all about me for now on my fitness journey.

My Past – I have experienced  weight fluctuations, size fluctuations.  I’ve experienced almost every eating disorder known.  I was concerned and didn’t know how to handle when I was disliked by family, friends and yes even foes, I thought I had to appease so many.  I allowed myself to be taken advantage of.  BUT I continued to workout always a fitness junkie but there are eliminations for success in fitness.

You can not be physical engaged in any fitness and expect an outcome to be proud of with an eating disorder which will eventually affect your health.  I was blessed to only experience small bouts of anemia that only required Iron injections.  Appeasing others brings on stress and I was stressed 85% of the time.  Stress hinders a great response to any fitness and I neglected myself a lot.

My Present -& My Future -Today change and implementations is helping me to a proud future. That future begins at 1200 AM everyday.  I workout to be strong, fit, healthy- NOT THIN.   I’ve experienced the thin and the torture I did to my body was and is not an easy recovery.

I love family, friends and have learned to love but cautious of the frienemy, but no longer allow intimidation, words of negativity, nonsupport and abuse (which comes in many ways) have a value. I LOVE MYSELF, Yes . My journey to fitness is for my health, joy and loving all the GREAT aspect of life- THE FUTURE- MY FUTURE.

To GREAT WORKOUTS & GREAT LIFE.

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I Didn’t Know Changing the Sequence will Change My Weights

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I knew exactly what day it was  and I looked at the calendar to follow which muscles would be at work today.  I compared the previous week weights and thought I would increase my weights but I was in for a BIG AWAKENING.

The sequence was changed.  Okay I thought  and was so wrong because the muscle groups (chest and back), also changed my ability to lift heavier weights.  Oh yes I was able to increase on certain routines and others I had to decrease.  Honestly I didn’t have to decrease but if I hadn’t, I would’ve been able to do 2 maybe 3 reps instead of 10. I was and still am satisfied with my decision.

pair of fingerless gloves and adjustable dumbbells
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I know now not to be so hasty in choosing my weights, at least before knowing the trainers workout plan of sequence… AND my fitness journey continues.

Supporting Others and Neglecting Myself

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Hi there I’m uncertain if I have used the correct title on this blog, not at all.  Simply put I am not neglecting myself by all means but I am neglecting my support.

As I travel and it is travel on my fitness journey, I see how so many of my friends, family, coworkers and just sometimes those occasional associates are so unsupported. Nothing positive, join a challenge group with you? What? This is a foreign or forbidden term, give positive support, are you CRAZY ?.  However I get emails to support their goals, or a challenge, listen to voice messages or texts for support. I have responded willingly because YES I do want the best for you however  I DO NOT value your goals GREATER than mine.

This has pressured my conscious thinking for while and I had to realize I have allowed my goals to be devalued.  Yes I will continue my journey with or without your support and I am hoping you can also do the same without mine.

To those on a fitness journey without the support of those so close and near, look ahead, keep up your pace, you are not alone. To a week of achieving  greatness.

Workout Demon

Do you know him or her? What? You never met? Really? Well, the demon was disguised because you have met.  Yes you know when you hear, “you deserve a few days off” and you are just lazy, upset with the flow of the day, energy drained from dealing with BS, not that you really need those days off unless. Your workout trainer said so or you or on vacation, traveling. Okay to assist on the vacation or travel you can join me and be workout ready where ever you go.

BUT don’t let that “workout demon” deter you from your fitness journey. Kick him out the way and get your  workout gear on and GET GOING.

To a week of destroying the workout demon.