First of all I want to say I am strong, but I was unaware until recently.
This all begin near a month ago. I had my well woman’s exam and which also included a BMD (bone mass density) due to previous medication I took years ago. Every test came back normal, well almost EXCEPT the mammogram. ABNORMAL in each breast. I must say when you get that type of news you’re not sure what to do. For me I went numb and weak at all extremities. I took a breath and knew I had to reschedule for further testing (scans and ultrasounds). 2.5 weeks later. It doesn’t seem long but my mind was going weary.
I didn’t tell anyone, WHY? Well I didn’t want the negative conversations, or the stories I just didn’t want to hear them. I didn’t want pity talks. I didn’t tell my family for several reasons. Also the family reunion was approaching and 4th of July. I didn’t want to be the downer for anyone’s holiday spirit nor the gossip or tea at the family reunion. Now don’t get me wrong not all friends, associates or family members are negative
Did I cry, YES and I know there are so many approaches to treatment in abnormal mammogram. I continued with my daily routine, work family life and continued to workout every day, giving each my 100 and sometimes more. I enjoyed the 4th of July and really enjoyed my family reunion.
Days later it was time. I woke up worked out, showered and drove myself to my appointment. I had a short wait and then it was time scans, 3D scans and ultra sound. In between I read a book “Girl Code”. NOW to make me nervous I had to repeat each test again and no one was saying anything and I was unable to read their expression. On the third repeat I couldn’t take it I had to leave the waiting area and cried but shockingly it was short. I went back in and on the last ultrasound I just waited in the room for the doctor. I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to hurry in and just telll me what was our next step or take as long as necessary. But she came in.
I went cold, numb and weak. Well it turns out I have cyst in each breast and benign. The purpose of the repeats was to be sure there was nothing hiding. I dressed and on my way out I cried. As I was walking to the car my daughter called and I told her where I was and why as well as the outcome. She was angry but happy. Once in the car out of nowhere I cried hard and I felt a weight lifted from me.
So the next day I continued with my workout and each day I have included a new goal. I still shed a tear but know I am blessed because so many do not get the news I did. It’s GREAT, LIFE IS GREAT. I will continue my workouts staying focus. Silly how I stayed focused through this, but I NOW know I am STRONG. Also my fitness journey ha a companion- My Life journey which is changing all for the best. It is surprising how so much greener the grass looks and the sky is bluer, rain feels great and again LIFE IS GREAT. Although I’m still reserving my thoughts on humidity .
Enjoy life and much as you do your fitness journey. I once thought it was the same but its not.
My workouts some days are challenging especially when my RA is painful and a swollen joint or two. I’ve had followers and friends state they are not sure how or why I workouts with swollen joint, so I want to clarify. I’ve hade RA since childhood and there wasn’t a lot of excuses and believe it or not I am better as an adult than a child with RA. I will never compare my flares with others as everyone’s pain is different as well as how each of us is able to deal with the pain.
I really try not to allow my pain unless it is severe dictate my day, so that is why I use a towel. That is my workout towel on my exercise mat. I use it for extra cushion for my left thumb. There are days I am unable to put pressure on my left hand . If I try I am fallling over , slipping because my balance is off. BUT with the extra cushion it really decreases the pressure and impact of my weight on the left hand and I can do my workout without laughing at myself. Yes I do that too and so would you if you saw a rep without the towel. Now I also use the towel at times for the right knee but not often.
I just want to share if you really want to workout there is a way to adjust and sometimes you have to be created for yourself. Of course I do not recommend anyone to push themselves beyond their level of comfort or safety- KNOW YOUR LIMITS. I know mine. And for now the towel works.
To a week of pushing through and not allowing RA always dictate our next moves in working out. If you have a deficit of any kind I am saluting you too- Adjust and Push through. WE GOT THIS.
My fitness journey has hills, mountains, winding roads, slopes, gravel and smooth surface. I encounter them all and my lesson which I have to focus on is “Stay Committed “.
Having a relationship with myself, just slain for knowing your mindset and your weakness; I know mine most of them when it comes to working out. I know if I come to a complete halt in my workouts for greater than two days, I’m setting myself up for a failure or probably a hard restart. With this said I encountered an almost halt on my workouts today.
My fitness journey is me following a workout and calendar and sometimes as I am now for the next several days combining two workouts. Today I increased weights, jumped higher, lunged lower and just put on a “you got this show”. I was all in and when it came to my second workout my muscles were burning. The energy was still there but I didn’t want to push through to injury or super exhaustion, I’ve been there. What did I do? Well there is a modifier in my workouts and I followed the modifier for half of my second workout then I was able to return to normal workout.
Modifying does not make it easier, you still have to push hard and give it your best or “100”. It just mean a decrease in your lunge, or decrease in your jump maybe a bounce. There are many who think modifying is for beginners or those testing the waters of a workout. All FALSE. Now I know because I’ve heard I wouldn’t want to modify any workout, I’d rather wait until I can do it for the ultimate gain.
I will not bash, trash or argue the “wait”, but will you start. I will continue to reiterate. First make a decision that you really want to make a change (I’m talking about workouts but it can apply to any goals in life). Ready for the change then COMMIT . This is why I modified and why I push through. I am committed to my fitness journey whether my results are slow or fast because without the commitment my results will be, oh yeah I will not have any results.
To weeks of commitment to yourself and to your goals as I am.