How Strong and Focused Am I

First of all I want to say I am strong, but I was unaware until recently.

This all begin near a month ago.  I had my well woman’s exam and which also included a BMD (bone mass density) due to previous medication I took years ago.  Every test came back normal, well almost EXCEPT the mammogram. ABNORMAL in each breast.  I must say when you get that type of news  you’re not sure what to do.  For me I went numb and weak at all extremities.  I took a breath and knew I had to reschedule for further testing (scans and ultrasounds). 2.5 weeks later. It doesn’t seem long but my mind was going weary.

I didn’t tell anyone, WHY? Well I didn’t want the negative conversations, or the stories I just didn’t want to hear them.  I didn’t want pity talks.  I didn’t tell my family for several reasons.  Also the family reunion was approaching and 4th of July.  I didn’t want to be the downer for anyone’s holiday spirit nor the gossip or tea at the family reunion.  Now don’t get me wrong not all friends, associates or family members are negative

Did I cry, YES and I know there are so many approaches to treatment in abnormal mammogram.  I continued with my daily routine, work family life and continued to workout every day, giving each my 100 and sometimes more. I enjoyed the 4th of July and really enjoyed my family reunion.

Days later it was time.  I woke up worked out, showered and drove myself to my appointment.  I had a short wait and then it was time scans, 3D scans and ultra sound. In between I read a book “Girl Code”. NOW to make me nervous I had to repeat each test again and no one was saying anything and I was unable to read their expression.  On the third repeat I couldn’t take it I had to leave the waiting  area and cried but shockingly it was short.  I went back in and on the last ultrasound I just waited in the room for the doctor.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to hurry in and just telll me what was our next step or take as long as necessary.  But she came in.

I went cold, numb and weak.  Well it turns out I have cyst in each breast and benign. The purpose of the repeats was to be sure there was nothing hiding. I dressed and on my way out I cried. As I was walking to the car my daughter called and I told her where I was and why as well as the outcome.  She was angry but happy.  Once in the car out of nowhere I cried hard and I felt a weight lifted from me.

So the next day I continued with my workout and each day I have included a new goal.  I still shed a tear but know I am blessed because so many do not get the news I did.  It’s GREAT, LIFE IS GREAT.  I will continue my workouts staying focus.  Silly how I stayed focused through this, but I NOW know I am STRONG.  Also my fitness journey ha a companion- My Life journey which is changing all for the best.  It is surprising how so much greener the grass looks and the sky is bluer, rain feels great and again LIFE IS GREAT. Although I’m still reserving my thoughts on humidity .

Enjoy life and much as you do your fitness journey.  I once thought it was the same but its not.

Author: nitrice

I am sharing my Fitness journey with others. I have experienced weight gains and weight loss both unhealthy and healthy. My journey now is one of a healthy lifestlye with fitness and nutrition.

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